Are You In Love With Your Bestfriend Or it Just a Propinquity Effect?

Tiara Febriani
2 min readFeb 4, 2021

Socializing with other people is something that we can’t refuse. We can’t live alone, need other people, and need to socialize with other people. As long as we live our lives, we need people and needed by people. At least everyone has a “home” to rely on, whether it’s family, friends, or lovers.

Family is part of the first social group when we are born, a lover is someone we love and care for, and best friends are interpersonal relationships between one person and another. The three forms of relationships above are likely to need each other, help each other, and spend time together. Things that differ from the three forms of the relationships are best friend and family won’t lead into romance.

But, what if I fall in love with My best friend?

I’d like to make you think about your feeling for your best friend by using a propinquity effect theory. As an introduction, propinquity effect theory is part of the theory of social psychology which states that a person can get along with other people because of their continuous closeness. This could be happening because there are things that are familiar between you and him/her, and you often meet him/her. If this happens continuously, you would tend to like “that person”.

Are my feelings for my best friend is a propinquity effect?

If you are curious and wondering about the situation you are in, I’d like to ask questions to ascertain it was a propinquity effect or not.

Are you in the same circle as him/her?

Are you often hang out with him/her?

Do you have a lot in common with him/her?

Do you have more feelings towards him/her, when the three things above happened?

If the most question that you answer is positive, then your feelings toward him/her might be a propinquity effect, but after knowing this don’t feel worried and anxious. Because your feelings for him/her are not fake at all, you truly in love with him/her. Feelings of love can come from anything, and maybe it could be happening because of the presence of the propinquity effect. No matter its propinquity effect or not, as social creatures we need someone else to rely on.

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